Why am I doing this? CLICK ME

So, some people will ask me why I chose writing as my career path. I started at MSU Mankato as a theatre major, and I loved my time in that program. I met great people, and my professors (at least, most of them) were very encouraging to me. My advisor, Dr. Heather Hamilton (she's like my theatre mom), actually encouraged me to pursue writing after I took Dramaturgy with her (for those of you who don't know, dramaturgy is the study of dramatic composition and the representation of the main elements of drama on the stage. Thanks, Wikipedia!). I've always loved writing and telling stories. I have a very active imagination even to this day, maybe sometimes too active. Anyway, I took a playwriting class as well and realized that I needed to take this path. I added a creative writing major and the rest is history. I graduated with my BA degree and was faced with the future.

I went through a lot of shit both in and out of college. Those of you who know me, you know some of what went down, but let's just say that long story short: my mental health was in the toilet. I didn't always want to acknowledge that it was, but it was for a while. I had my good times and my bad, but there was always this thing in the back of my mind telling me I wasn't good enough to pursue a career in this. So, I stayed working at jobs that had nothing to do with my degree, lying to myself and my friends to make it sound better than it was. I lied to my family, and with the onset of the pandemic, I was in the worst place I've probably ever been, and I still tried to ignore it. Finally, I lost my job. I won't go into the details of what happened, because it's frankly nobody's business, but this was a huge blow for me. What I began to realize as I moved back home and made an effort to start over was that I had been the one holding myself back. My depression, my anxiety, they didn't help, but I didn't take responsibility for my own mental health and taking care of myself. I needed help, but I was too stubborn to ask.

Now, I feel the best I've felt in years. I'm taking care of my physical health and my mental health, and I'm making an effort to write again. I'm finding that spark of creativity and that love again, and it feels good. That's why I'm doing this. I want to keep that spark going by sharing my journey with you guys. Now, I'm taking my time and realizing that I can't force my stories to write themselves any faster. All I can do is try to practice regularly and use this site to keep myself accountable for this blog. I'm treating these like mini personal essays, a way for me to keep my brain writing while I work on my fiction stories. I'm not great at witty goodbyes, so bye! 👋